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In an attempt to save your future from the fear of isolation, you can find yourself taking control of everything and everyone in your life. It can push you to give your heart away too quickly and cause you to take risks you were never intended to take.The first step to being gracefully available is in exchanging your fear for trust in God- trusting that He knows the way, and that His plan for your life is always what’s best.It seems like everyone around you is getting ushered into the world of love and marriage, while you find yourself wondering if you will ever find the one.You’re torn between trusting God to bring you the right one- and working it in the world of love and dating.Whatever the reason, sometimes we slip and fall in life and then there’s desperation waiting for us like an unwanted old piece of toilet paper that just won’t come off your shoe. He can smell desperation on you a mile away like a puke-worthy, designer impostor perfume. If all you talk about is who you used to date, why you broke up and who you’re going to date next, you probably come across as desperate. The thing about desperation, no matter how unavoidable it is sometimes, is that it stinks and repels the very people you want to attract like nothing else. Why not join a new club, get that job you always wanted or take up a new sport instead? DON’T stalk your love interests and exes on facebook. There’s everything you always wanted to know about so-and-so all laid out and waiting for you.

The worst thing you could do is putting the cart before the horse – and by that, I mean sending her a picture of your junk. (Just NO dude.) Nothing kills the vibe faster than getting too raunchy before she’s even entertained the thought of going to bed with you. Keep it simple and respond with either “Well, that’s not nice, sorry to bother you” or “Well, it was nice meeting you.” You have nothing to prove to her (or anyone watching) so defending yourself is beside the point.So, how exactly does a single young adult make themselves available without seeming too desperate?The more fixated you are on finding love and obsessed about entering marriage, the more desperate you will appear, because eventually, the things that you think about most start seeping into every part of your life for the whole world to see.Even though no one else might know about your secret stalking, you will. Chances are that you’ll find out stuff about who he’s dating or the fun life he’s having without you that will make you feel worse about yourself. They have a great time with each other, have many common interests and rarely fight.

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